It's official. I am a nut-case.

I just got released from a one-day stay at the hospital....

I overdosed on anti-depressants and sleeping pills.

Not on purpose.

I wanted to sleep. I haven't slept for days. I've been so depressed.

So I took some sleeping pills, totally forgetting I'm also on anti-depressants.

Almost did an Anna Nicole Smith there.

The thing is I don't know why I'm depressed.

It's official. I am a diagnosed manic-depressive.

Lately though, it's just depression. I've been staying in bed, burying myself under the sheets.

I feel empty, sad, alone, but I don't know why.

I have a job that I know I can excel in. It pays well, too. The thing is, I hate the job. I'm quitting.

A week ago I tried cutting my left wrist. I wanted to end my misery.

It hurt like hell.

Figures.

I didn't do it to feel pain. I already am in a lot of pain, I don't need more.

I did it to see if I can really end it.

I couldn't.

Not because I didn't want to die, but because it hurts like hell.

Plus, I had nasty thoughts of tetanus & infection but then again those wouldn't matter if one is already dead.

I don't know why I'm depressed.

I haven't peaked yet. I have a long way to go.

I know so.

But then why do I have this feeling there's nothing more than this?

I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe the tunnel's already caved in and I'm trapped inside?

My friends keep on telling me there's no other way but up for me.

Why do I feel I'm just spiralling down, down, DOWN?!